Saturday, March 16, 2019

March 16, Eight years today...


Each year on this this angel anniversary, I wake up with a mix of emotions… anxious, sadness, doubtful and proud.  It’s hard to validate which of these feelings was most dominant.

I anxiously await for the day to arrive and be over so I can drop the heaviness I’ve been carrying all week long.

The sadness I feel is for my sons who year by year are farther away from their clear memories of their father.  For every milestone they achieve, their dad is not physically present to witness them all.

Now that my boys are teenagers (16,18), I doubt myself in whether I am properly memorializing their beloved father on this day without being overly sentimental or being dismissive by not doing enough to honor such an amazing human being.

The most positive feeling of this day is how proud I am of how my sons have evolved.  They are amazingly courageous, resilient and are young men of good character.  Their dad would be beyond proud of them.  If he were physically present today, I would see his face beaming with pride and his heart soaring out of his chest.

On our long drive to Pasadena today, I asked Logan how much memories he remembers of his dad.  He says he doesn’t remember as much as he was only 8 years old… which again deeply saddened me. I then excitedly shared some fond memories of him and his dad, which will always be vivid in mine.   I could tell from his listening posture that he appreciated the stories and it somehow filled in the gap in his mind.  More than the stories, I mostly reiterated to him how very much loved and valued he was by his dad.

Lucas who in the last 2 anniversaries was very private and uncomfortable about sharing or memorializing his father.  He tends to keep his thoughts to himself.  Today, when he was open and conversant about talking about our memories of Bruce, that it delighted and comforted me.

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