Creating a new Normal when Life throws you a Curve Ball

I am now almost 3 years bereaved.  At times it feels like it was just yesterday and sometimes it feels so long ago.  That stretch of time has been filled with a myriad of emotions, events and new experiences.  It forced the inevitable without a choice..to create a new “normal”  for my sons and I.  Life as we knew it no longer is, but we chose (daily) to pull our bootstraps and forge onward to continue to experience the richness that life has to offer.  I know without a shadow of a doubt that Bruce would want that for us too.

At about halfway through this journey, I paused and realized that we have finally settled into our new routine.  We have adjusted to our situation and have grown tremendously in the last 3 years. 

My faith also grew stronger and it was the impetus for my courage and tenacity.

Reflecting on how we got here, there were important milestones that we crossed.

Acceptance

Accept the circumstance…period.
Accept that change is inevitable.  Yes, ours was a big one, but there are going to be thousands more changes that will occur in our lifetime.
Accept that the adjustment period is emotionally and physically exhausting.
Accept that any new habit or routine takes time to get comfortable at.  Be patient.

Re-prioritize

Remind yourself of your new priorities and create goals and activities to affirm those priorities. Re-prioritizing also means de-cluttering your life.  Surround yourself only with people you truly respect, love and care for.  Eliminate activities that does not support your values, goals and objectives in life. 

Always have a shift in perspective by thinking…”it could’ve been worst”

 Re-invent

You are not your circumstance so, bravely ask yourself who are you now?  How do you want to define yourself?  What new dreams do you have? This can be a liberating exercise for it gives you the freedom to explore new hobbies, new friendships and pave a new road for your Plan B dream.

Relax

Give yourself permission and grace to make mistakes.  You will miss the mark sometimes, but it is a lesson worth learning. 

Celebrate every occasion and even make new traditions.  Always seize opportunities for joy when they present itself…not with careless abandon but with the intention to create new fond memories aligned with a purposeful life. 

Yes, the sadness and permanence of our loss is part of our story yet, there is another chapter that has yet to be written.