Change

Time is flying by so swiftly.  The boys are growing like weeds before my eyes.  Lucas is almost as tall as me and Logan clearly cannot be described as a baby boy any longer.  His once soft legs, which I loved to caress and squeeze, have morphed into thunder thighs.  How could this be that Bruce is not here to witness all of these?  He always paid attention to the details of their physical, mental and emotional growth.  He frequently talked about how he envisioned playing golf with them as young adults.  It is why he invested time with them on lessons and played dozens upon dozens of courses at a very young age.  He also made them amazing skiers, for he knew it is the one other sport he could participate with them even in his golden years.  Bruce had an infinite list of things and adventures he planned to do with the boys.   What he did best in the midst of all the planning is that he cherished the present moment and lived it so vividly with them.  It was as if he knew he was leaving us so soon.

This is our transition year.  I am in the process of selling our home.  The most difficult part of that decision was breaking the news to my sons.  I treaded carefully, threw in a little bribe and a lot of assurance that all will be well.  They accepted the decision just as I had hoped and prayed for.  How proud I am of them and a testimony of their trust in me.  Now I’m tempted to sweeten the bribe.

What’s been underscored this year is the knowing that nothing ever stays the same.  Change is inevitable and we have each learned to embrace them even while swallowing our tears.  Our circumstance has matured the boys emotionally ahead of their peers.  I realize this will serve them well as they become adults but for now, I am constantly guarding their hearts.