There are those obvious milestones that carry a deep seated pain when they arrive. The sheer anticipation of them causes some anxiety before they even occur. I agree with others who say that the “firsts” are the most difficult: his birthday, mine, our boys, wedding anniversary, Father’s day, Thanksgiving, Christmas—these are the obvious ones.
Then there are other milestones that elicit an unexpected emotion, a feeling of being ambushed…such as Logan’s first flag football game, the finish line of our 5K runs together, Lucas using deodorant for the first time, learning a new sport together and many others. Convincingly, these foot tracks are also indicative of our efforts in moving forward in our new life. They are not easy, but necessary.
A milestone that I look forward to is the moment when I think of Bruce, that sadness has finally escaped me and instead, it is replaced with joy. Joyful for all the love and rich memories he has given me and our sons.
I don’t know when that will be, but doing the next thing and the next will hopefully get me closer to it.
I don’t know when that will be, but doing the next thing and the next will hopefully get me closer to it.
Elisa,
ReplyDeleteYou are amazing to your boys and any and everyone who has had the privilege to meet you. Your courage and strength shine through.
XO,
Lise Biggerstaff
you and the boys are in my thoughts and prayers constantly