Treasured video

The boys are in Santa Barbara for the weekend with a family friend to celebrate Logan's friend Henry's birthday.  I was cleaning up my desk searching for Christmas mailing labels to send out our Christmas cards and I came across an old video titled " First Xmas without Bruce".  I hesitated to click to watch it for I wasn't sure how I would react.  Well, seeing the precious pictures of my sons on the cover was irresistible.  Click here it goes…

This was December 2011, the first Christmas for us, a new family of 3.  The boys racing down the stairs gleefully and beaming with joy just likes every Christmas morning since.  Then the video came to when I spoke to them….speaking directly to their hearts and telling them how much I love them, how much their dad loves them and even though they can’t see him, he is always present in our hearts.  I told them that only good things will happen from here on out for we have already suffered the most terrible thing.  Then the boys each opened their gifts one by one with such excitement I wish I could contain them in a jar.  The joy they have in receiving each one, appreciating them the way they did warmed my heart.  Then came the part of the video when I read each of the boy’s card to me.  I paused, I wept, I mourned but more notably, I felt so proud for each of them for writing a heartfelt sentiment that took so much courage for an 11 and 8 year old to express.  I will cherish this the rest of my life. 

Watching this video now almost 6 years in this journey, I am beyond grateful for God’s providence in our lives.  He carried us through, He answered our prayers and He blessed us in countless ways.

So much has happened in the 6 years since.  What is evident is that we are a happy family of 3.  We are bonded by our pain and loss and through it all we stood up, we walked forward and cultivated a grateful heart.  We learned that hope is alive, that even in the midst of suffering, we can look ahead to find rainbows in the sky.  For the sun always comes after the rain.