Flying solo

Five months before my annual Girls Weekend, my dear friend Annie starts planning the trip.  This long anticipated gilrs weekend has been one of my favorite times of the year since we started 4 years ago.  It is a time to indulge and be pampered.  The most important luxury that we partake in is just being in the company of truly wonderful women.  We laugh our hearts out, dive into deep conversations and create memorable events that will last a lifetime.

Knowing that the event will take place in March, just a couple of weeks from THE day caused some anxiety on my part.  I thought well..., I can always purchase my plane ticket and cancel when I want, but at least I had something to look forward to. 

Alas, the weekend has arrived and I was able to muster the courage I needed to overcome the fear...the fear of flying for the first time without my sons since the tragedy.  Was it too soon to fly without them ?  Days before I got on the plane, I must have said a hundred prayers and even rallied my friends to add me to their prayer list as well.  Although I wasn't worried about my flight so much as I was worried about my sons worrying about me.  I'm comforted knowing they are in good hands with my parents but I wondered if they were fearful inside as I was.  Thank goodness for cell phones and texting.  We stayed connected throughout the weekend, and I know this was a calming factor for both of us.

My decision to go was by no means a careless one.  I decided to go because I didn't want to be crippled by fear.  To show my sons that we have to continue to live, to be brave and be in front of the shadow not behind it.  One of the greatest lessons I have learned and embraced from Bruce is to continue to challenge myself--not to take the path of least resistance but to take the higher road instead even when the obstacles seem insurmountable.  He has changed me in this way, and it is a part of me that is truly him that will stay with me forever. I know Bruce is nodding with approval and proud that I flew by myself and conquered that fear. After all, I arrived at the destination he was going to (Deer Valley) last March 16th and arrived home safely. This is one of my most significant milestone achieved this year.

It was home sweet home arriving to my two loving boys. Although flying solo was fine, flying as a threesome is even better (just not on Girls weekend).